Self-Evaluation.

Its been two months since i last blog. Couldn’t find the time to do it. After a scorching time of appraising myself of what i have done the last year of 2010. I’ ve really thanked God for all the many things He has done for me and the many friends that edifies me to make me a much more better person. I guess =-=.LOL

Getting on top of the world in everything. The best grades. The best university. The best brand. The best guitar.
Anything you can name it with the word best in it. Getting the limelight.Attention. Status.

Staggering much.

I thought getting in a better university would quench all my satisfaction. I used to have the mentality of getting the best of the best would actually give me these nice emotions but dispersed off after a bit. One thing I learned is that as we seek him, even with our filthy lives, God molds and breaks us. There was a stage of time that I’m still struggling with all these emotions, part of me was broken and I’m evenly depressed. For His grace is sufficient, I’m going through these torrid times of self searching and try to evaluate my main motives, I believe that God sees the heart and the desire to live for Him. Going to the best university is not wrong at all. Going to the best university with the wrong motives are way far apart of the previous statement. Through all these predicament albeit to all my wrong motives, i finally realised that God is in total control no matter WHAT. God already has my next job all set up and planned out for me. All i have to do is simply wait for His timing to bring it to me. This is where I have to learn how to have complete faith in the Lord to do all of this for me. It is a wake-up call for me. Right now I have two choices of going to uni. It is a matter of staying back the same uni or transferring my credits to another. Lord, help me to be a wiser person so i can make fairly good enough decisions in future.Amen laaa =D

Results, spiritual milestone, popularity, and self-condemnation for inflating myself. All of these words have been quoted to me before through messages and sermons.

Before i even go to Australia to study, I’m not even sure of going because I always say i study for God. A very typical answer from a confused Christian like me for that period of time. Sometimes i feel my life has been dedicated to the pursuit of my best capabilities and academically, living the boundary between living and studying for God and just living like one piece of nuisance just to get myself satisfied or perhaps pride or maybe self-righteousness. I wondered of all these has consumed me. If i really do, today you won’t even see me speaking to you. I'll be loitering around spouting nonsense to people LOL

Speaking about serving in a church. My desire of playing the guitar never fades but it seems that i always have the wrong intention of playing. FAME. SPOTLIGHTS. COOL. I thanked God for not choosing to play the guitar for church. The music was superbly fantastic in the church i’m attending and it makes me wanna play more merely of the pure and corny reason =MUSIC. I believe I got so much to discover.A hand I could lend another. That’s why i’m serving as an usher. It really brings out my personality. I really do felt that way in a good way.

With eyes open wide. Mean all that it can.I don't need a sign to actually to be wakened, I just need to begin. Life is short and quickly passing by, seasons are really changing from time to time, i rweally believe God will help me to make the most of what is mine.

The year 2011. IT will be a fruitful one and the many years to come. BOOYEA!!